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Old 12-26-2018, 09:23 PM
phragle's Avatar
phragle phragle is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: toledo
N.B,R,G.'s 2019 Offshore Racing Series announced.

N.B.R.G. is proud to announce an expanded zero race series for 2019 !! In an effort to be more "racer friendly" in 2019, N.B.R.G. is the first and only race org to make this bold and innovative change to the racing format. Given the current state of today's offshore racing, spinning high speed circles for approximately (depending upon venue) 8 laps, it is completely understandable why racers are leaving the sport in droves, With frequently blown motors and drives stemming from 1200 hp builds based on the motors borrowed from Grandma Jone's Buick Roadmaster station wagon and extensive hull damage from running potato chip hulls on 6 inch pond chop, it just doesn't make financial sense for today's racer.

So, being true pioneers in the sport, N.B.R.G. invites all racers and psuedo-racer poker runners to make their equipment as bright, shiny and technicolored as possible and bring them to the (sight to be determined) world championship location. There, they will be able to set up elaborate pit displays with colorful sponsor and team banners, scantily clad young women selling team T-Shirts and coozies, and blaring stereos. These pit setups will then be judged at 5:00 pm with points awarded. These points will equal 50% of the racers overall score.

Beginning at 6:00 pm sharp a 12 lap pub crawl will commence stopping once per lap at every sponsors pub. Each pub crawl team will consist of one driver, one throttleman and one crewmember. At exactly 2:00Am each team still standing (all 3 team member must be standing, though they may assist each other to remain vertical) will have each team member blow into a breathalyzer. Points awarded will be based on highest combine team breathalizer totals.

These pub crawl points with then be combined the pit display points to determine 2019's N.B.R,G. Off Shore World Champion. N.B.R.G. hopes this format, with greatly reduced costs of constantly rebuilding boats and motors,purchasing and transporting a myriad of spare parts as well as the time savings from less prep, maintenance and repair of equipment will lure more competitors and help expand the sport.

N.B.R.G. is currently in talks with several Hydroplane, tunnel boat and radio control boat racing organizations, so that the spectators will actually be able to see competitive pond racing in little circles should they desire.

See you at the races !!!!
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Courage is knowing it may hurt and doing it anyways / Stupidity is the same / That's why life is hard...
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Old 12-27-2018, 05:08 AM
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sonicss31 sonicss31 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Maryland/Cudjoe Key
I now see that "Ask Mike" is not the only creative writer on these boards. Very nice plan BTW.
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Old 12-27-2018, 09:05 AM
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Sutphen30 Sutphen30 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: canton,ma
as Mikes apprentice,,I have to point out the difference in sight and site.
I like my food with ketchup.
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